Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Innocence of Youth

Today was Martin Luther King, Jr. Day...a day to remember one of the most important men in US history. A man that brought national and global attention to the prejudice and injustice faced by African Americans and a man that sought to unite all Americans, regardless of color, through nonviolent means.

For decades, students have learned about MLK and what he meant and continues to mean to this country and those still struggling for equality. No doubt, these are lessons that will continue to be taught for generations to come.

Now that I have a child in school, we are beginning to get a fresh take on MLK and the issues he fought. The following fresh take is courtesy of my favorite 6 year old while I was watching a documentary about 1968:

"Jordy, if we lived during that time and Churro was brown, would we not be allowed to have him? Because in those days, brown people and white people weren't allowed to be together."

Have you picked yourself off the floor yet? It was all I could do to hold myself together following that statement. It's just so amazing to see that she can sum up such a complex issue in such simple terms.

I wish that these were issues that didn't have to be taught, but the fact is that they will be taught until there is some sort of resolution and society can find a way to truly be color blind. In the meantime I'm just so happy to have a little girl that not only gets it as much as a 6 year old can get it, but that she is a blank slate with these sorts of things.

People are people. The only thing that matters to her is whether the people are nice or mean. And even if they're mean, her kind, unbiased little heart never fails to offer up second chances.

I don't know what Mrs. Lightning and I have done, but it feels like we've done it right....with plenty of help from family and friends, of course. But maybe it's time to take a step back and start taking some lessons from the little one. I think we as a society make things more complicated than they need to be.

People are people...let's just be nice to each other. It's really not that hard to do. We can learn a lot from the innocence of youth :)

Sydney rules!

P.S. - Still working on the blog conversion. And by "working on" I mean "haven't started but plan to sometime soon...maybe after the Super Bowl...or before....or................."

Holy Disinterest, Batman!

Wow! This blog thing got off to a pretty good start but has obviously trailed off quite a bit. We're approaching three months since the last post.

So here's the deal. I jumped on Blogspot before I knew any better. I have since started up a Wordpress blog for work stuff and I really like the functionality of those blogs much better than here.

For that reason, I will be moving all my blogs over to a Wordpress page as soon as I can find the time and energy (i.e. take a break from Mario Bros., napping, and football). Once that's up and running, the goal is to blog it up 2010-style! I'm not exactly sure what that means, but let's just say I'm aiming for one blog a week.

Sure, this could lead to some pretty weak posts as I try to meet my self-imposed quota, but hey...I do what I want. After all, in this narcissistic world of social media, who really cares what anyone else thinks......

*likemelikemelikemelookatmelookatmelookatme*

Anyhoo, if there's anyone out there that is still interested in this blog, thanks for hanging in. I will keep you posted on the new developments.

Lightning out!

Motion Lights

Do you remember being a kid sneaking around the neighborhood at night doorbell ditching, or trying to find a ball or Frisbee that had gone a little further than expected and suddenly a beam of porch light exploded upon you and any of your accomplices? You would practically $hit your pants. It was like you made it over the prison wall only to be captured on the other side and having another 50 years tacked onto your sentence. And all you did was move. You didn't steal anything. You didn't vandalize someone's house. You moved. MOVED!

That was the most brilliant implementation of the motion light. As a kid, that was probably the most effective security measure someone could take. Better than a car alarm. Better than a barking dog. Just a light. If that light came on, you got the hell out of there.

But those times are gone. The motion light has lost its power...(unintentional pun). Why? I'll tell you why. Because instead of striking fear into the hearts of juveniles, the motion light become a common nuisance. It has come into our homes and workplaces under the guise of "energy saver" - in reality acting as a nagging parent telling us to shut off the light when we leave a room.

It assumes we want a light blasting us in the face first thing in the morning while our eyes are trying to adjust. Sometimes it's a bitch that just wants to mess with you, refusing to turn on until you do your most spastic, limb-flailing leprechaun dance in the middle of your office's break room.

Worst of all, the motion light decides when you've been in the bathroom stall a bit too long. Is there a more terrifying moment in a bathroom than when the light goes out? And is there a more humbling moment than when you're in that stall, the light goes out, and you know it's not because of a power failure? Or a more shameful feeling than when someone else enters the dark bathroom, the lights go on, and this person that assumed they were alone notices your feet behind the wall with your pants around your ankles....

Damn you, motion light! You have become an epic disappointment. Once so mighty and powerful, now just a jealous and spiteful shell of your former self. What happened to you? Was it the Clapper? Such a sad and tragic fall from grace. You should be ashamed of yourself.

It's Been a Good Week

Yes, it's only Tuesday. Yes, I had a misunderstanding / miscommunication with the wife that put a bit of funk on the weekend (all better now). Yes, a pipe on the bathroom sink is leaking and I have to meet with a plumber to get it fixed. Yes, my condo goes up for auction tomorrow and my credit is doomed from here to eternity. I'm aware of all this.

The universe can throw whatever it wants at me right now, and it's trying. But what it can't do is take away one of my life's greatest achievements. Last night in a softball playoff game, yours truly launched a towering three-run homer over the centerfield fence. The shot put our team (Team Au Jus) in position to tie the game and send us to extra innings.

Team Au Jus lost the game, but put up a great fight. Down one player all night and sacrificing one out every other inning, we weren't expected to hang. But hang we did.

But let's not lose sight of what's really important here: Lightning's personal stats!

I am a lifelong baseball fan. I played little league for only two years and have played on a number of softball teams. I've always been able to hold my own, but I've always lacked that one thing - homerun power. I have never hit a homer in my life, outside of front yard games with tennis balls or those plays where an outfielder can't find a handle on the ball and I've raced around and scored.

This was a legitimate, I daresay "Ruthian" blast to the deepest part of the ball park. It was a shot that, if not for the trees beyond the centerfield fence, would likely be in Venice right now telling Sheriff how I also kicked his ass in Fantasy Football last night.

Some of you may say, "It's softball, who gives a crap?" and to you, World, I say "suck it!".

I hit a homerun. I feel like I'm 12 again. It's a good feeling. So good, in fact, that I've had the homerun ball (which I immediately stole) bronzed and will wear it as a medallion from this point on. Has your week been as good as mine? Doubtful. But better luck next week!



UPDATE: It should also be noted that, in addition to "The Shot Heard 'Round Fair Oaks", I also hit an inside-the-park homerun. This was a play that, while also a powerful drive to the deep outfield, was really more of an Usain Bolt-like display of speed. As I rounded third before the fielder even reached the ball, they never had a chance. The game was delayed for 15 minutes as the fire department was called in to douse the flames on the basepaths.

Sheriff Takes Europe by Storm!

So my buddy Sheriff has gone off to conquer Europe with his wife, Plani. Judging by their travel blog, they seem to be enjoying their time over there. Good thing, too, cuz they will be over there for another couple weeks.

But their blog just isn't telling the whole story. It seems they are keeping a few moments for themselves. Fortunately, I have some European affiliates that have been keeping tabs on them as well. Check out some of the shenanigans below:

Sheriff breezed into Paris a few days ago....



This of course was following his adventures in London....



Sheriff loves those Euro beaches.....



But he maintains that Amsterdam's Red Light District is probably his favorite spot....



But that was a night that got a little out of hand. He has no idea how he got here....



Think he's learned his lesson after a couple close calls.....



But there was never any fear, as Sheriff had faced difficult situations before....



He was happy to get the vacation back on track and amongst a friendlier crowd....



So Sheriff seems to be enjoying his vacation. Lots happening so far with plenty of time left. If my sources can get me some more info, I will post it ASAP.

Good day to you all, and God speed.

Here's Why You Bother Me

1. You have grown your hair out to an absolutely ludicrous length which prohibits you from doing anything socially without being an absolute pain in the ass to those around you. Specifically, I'm talking about air travel. Yes, you, hippie chick....in the seat in front of me. You know how they make obese people purchase multiple tickets for their "extra baggage"? The fact that there is no seat-purchasing law for your "Cousin It" hair that is dragging on the floor and drifting back to my seating area is staggering. I am all for freedom, but when you take advantage of your freedom to to the point where it impacts MY freedom to eat a hairless bag of peanuts or travel without fear of lice in my drink, then I'm all about communism. Will the TSA allow me to carry clippers with me on my next trip?

2. You're not a funny person, but you try to drown out the crickets by laughing at your own jokes. What's worse is that you continue talking and digging your tragic comedy hole deeper. You're in an office, sir. You are not on stage where they are paying you to make jokes. You will still get paid if you cut your losses and walk away. I don't know who you're trying to impress, but you are failing. Does seeing a plastic peach really remind you of Georgia, or are you making a fruitless (See? Puns are effective comedy) attempt at conversation with someone that obviously has no interest in talking to you? Please....take it outside.

3. You hassle me about a blog. I realize I am a supremely gifted writer and that it's difficult to get through your days without some fresh literary stimulation, but I am an artist. To string words together so eloquently requires inspiration and passion, and those don't come as fast or as often as they do in other McBlog's. You want 5-star Lightning quality, you must have patience. You want fast food, go to Sheriff's euro-blog*....Chet :P

*Sheriff and Plani - I actually quite enjoy your travel log. I make jokes :D

Happy Monday, all!

I'm a Social Ruhtard

In the last two days I have had two seemingly minor incidents at the office that, while being a throw away moment for any witnesses, have continued to gnaw at my psyche. Now I'm not one to really care all that much about what people think of me (cuz I'm awesome), but I am one that can instantly trade places with a person in a sort of creepy telepathic kind of way and see what they're seeing when they happen to be looking my way...which they do....often........really..............no, seriously.........................whatever!

Anyhoo, onto the idiot moments.

1.) If you have ever legitimately forgotten something, the typical reaction is to to turn around and go get it - time permitting of course. However, if you come bolting out of an office door, realize you've forgotten something, but make eye contact with a passer by while turning around, it suddenly looks like you are afraid of this person or you are putting up a rather poor attempt at ignoring them. Regardless, it's a one time incident and this person will be long gone by the time you return to the hallway with your forgotten item.

OR, you will make an unintentionally wide right turn coming into the hallway and find yourself walking head on towards the same person, you will over-correct and steer yourself to the opposite wall, and any question of whether or not you're trying to avoid this person will be answered. Obviously this person is being avoided (not really, but that's the obvious impression by now, right?)

But it's fine. No harm done. Just duck into the bathroom, allow this person to clear the hallway, and quietly return to your office space. Never mind the errand you were attempting to run because you've forgotten what that was anyway.

However, on your way out of the bathroom, always remember to grab a drink from the adjacent water fountain before you reach the hallway. If you do not, you will remember just as you reach the hallway, you will begin to make your u-turn, you will make eye contact once again with this strange hallway-roaming person who you may just start to intentionally ignore from this point on, you will duck back into the shadows by the drinking fountain and get your drink, then do the office sprint-but-not-a-real-sprint-cuz-you're-inside-a-building-sprint back to your desk and remain in your seat for the rest of the day.

Have I over thought this? Most likely. But seriously, what was she doing pacing the hallway like that? Doesn't she have work to do?

2.) Did you know that when you slip on a patch of ice, you probably do more damage to yourself trying to brace yourself on the fall to the ground than you would have if you had just allowed gravity to take over? In the same vein, I imagine you also do more damage to yourself by inhaling water but trying to play it off like you didn't just inhale water in an effort to avoid erupting into a massive coughing/choking/dying seizure in the middle of a hallway as a coworker passes.

Oh yeah, she says 'hi' as she passes. And yes, cuz you're not an ass, you manage to vomit a wheezing 'hey' right back at her. This is the last word of your pathetic little life. Shortly thereafter you will reach your office, body trembling, and you will lose complete control of all speech and motor skills. You will wish for death as your lungs attempt to expel that rogue water from your system, but death will not come. Only shame. Only.....shame.

Good day.