1. You have grown your hair out to an absolutely ludicrous length which prohibits you from doing anything socially without being an absolute pain in the ass to those around you. Specifically, I'm talking about air travel. Yes, you, hippie chick....in the seat in front of me. You know how they make obese people purchase multiple tickets for their "extra baggage"? The fact that there is no seat-purchasing law for your "Cousin It" hair that is dragging on the floor and drifting back to my seating area is staggering. I am all for freedom, but when you take advantage of your freedom to to the point where it impacts MY freedom to eat a hairless bag of peanuts or travel without fear of lice in my drink, then I'm all about communism. Will the TSA allow me to carry clippers with me on my next trip?
2. You're not a funny person, but you try to drown out the crickets by laughing at your own jokes. What's worse is that you continue talking and digging your tragic comedy hole deeper. You're in an office, sir. You are not on stage where they are paying you to make jokes. You will still get paid if you cut your losses and walk away. I don't know who you're trying to impress, but you are failing. Does seeing a plastic peach really remind you of Georgia, or are you making a fruitless (See? Puns are effective comedy) attempt at conversation with someone that obviously has no interest in talking to you? Please....take it outside.
3. You hassle me about a blog. I realize I am a supremely gifted writer and that it's difficult to get through your days without some fresh literary stimulation, but I am an artist. To string words together so eloquently requires inspiration and passion, and those don't come as fast or as often as they do in other McBlog's. You want 5-star Lightning quality, you must have patience. You want fast food, go to Sheriff's euro-blog*....Chet :P
*Sheriff and Plani - I actually quite enjoy your travel log. I make jokes :D
Happy Monday, all!
Monday, September 28, 2009
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