Oh Turkey Leg, How Do I Love Thee...

The Crew went out to Disneyland on Monday in celebration of the Lightning's wedding, churros, and inflated theme park retail prices. All good things, indeed. But I think the most memorable thing at the House of Mouse this time around was delicious turkey. Never before had I experienced such a marvel of meat on bone (pastrami and bacon aren't eaten off the bone, so my love of those meats is undeterred). But I digress....

Helloooo, Turkey leg....



Chet is impressed, as he should be...



Sexiest thing I've ever seen...



Why are you staring at me?!



AWM NOM NOM NOM NOM!!!!

You Are Hereby Sentenced to Life in Stupidity

Listening to CNN right now as I'm forced to do on a daily basis. Unfortunately, what qualifies as "news" these days is taking snipets of much larger conversations and debating semantics for hours, days, and weeks.

Let's take President Obama's new Supreme Court nominee. She's Hispanic (or Dominican, or Puerto Rican, or something South of American). It really doesn't matter in the context of this story.

I guess this woman made a comment a couple years ago that actually made sense in the context of what she was talking about, but perhaps it wasn't said in the most 'PC' of ways. Whatever. It was years ago. Let it be.

Oh wait, she's a new appointee and we need dirt and gossip. So Rush Limbaugh gets on the golden mic and calls her a racist. Then uses the term "reverse racist". CNN of course jumps on this because they need to fill hours. Next thing you know, we have "experts" throwing out terms like "new racism" vs. "old racism".

First of all, the chick isn't a racist. She's a high profile Latina which gives the media a target. Terms related to race are naturally coming up because there wouldn't be a story if they didn't.

Second, am I wrong, or is racism just racism? Seems to me that if you're seriously demoralizing any specific ethnic group, you are a racist. You're not a reverse racist, a new racist, an old racist...you're just a plain ol' racist.

If there are any racists in this whole picture, I would think it's the media. They are the ones that perpetuate these stories and terms, and they're the ones that create cases of racism where there are none by magnifying things and blowing them way out of proportion. And suddenly you have the idiot public blindly crying "racist" because the media told them to. It's careless and dumb.

I guess the only way to eliminate this kind of thing is to wipe out the use of words that define groups of people (i.e. black, white, hispanic, asian, gay, blah blah blah) and, I don't know, use the word "people" instead. Pretty simple stuff that will never happen, but can you imagine the difference if it did? The "news" would almost disappear...and that would be awesome.

Anyhoo, this distracts from my usual happy-go-luckyness, so here's something a little more 'me'...

Lightning's Getting Married

I'm down in Pismo Beach for the next couple days. The reason? I've decided to get married. Even more astonishing...Mrs. Lightning has decided to marry ME. Wow.

That is all. Must go sleep off the beer now.

Narcissism, thy name is 'Personal Webpage'

Yes, I have a Facebook page. I also have a Twitter page that I don't really use, but it's there. I've had a MySpacepage before, and now I have myself a blog.

Like many, I talked myself into these pages because they hold value in the area of 'social networking'. Okay, first off, networking is a social action that doesn't require all these websites. Effective networking really only requires you and your personality.

Second, I just don't buy that reasoning for these websites. Let's be real. The only reason you're "friends" with a majority of the people on there is because you want to put yourself on display to as many people as possible. These sites are tools for new age exhibitionists.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's good to be proud of who you are and what you are doing with your life. But surely you know that the only person interested in seeing the 100 pictures of you and your dog is you....and maybe your dog. Everybody else feels like Dennis of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" when he says, "dreams are like pictures: unless I'm in them or somebody is having sex in them, I'm just not interested."

But hey, keep on keepin' on. I'm not trying to stop anyone from doing what they do. Hell, I'm one of the biggest "look at me" whores out there - you know, aside from actual whores. I also realize that I'm probably the only one that's going to read this cuz nobody else is interested. Of course if I threw up someone else's picture, betcha they'd be interested then....

TOUGH!! This is what you get! Look at me x3

Shout Out to CSUS

It took me two and a half years and several thousand dollars to get out of Sac State with a Bachelor of Art's Degree in Communication Studies/Digital Media. When I left college, I spent the next few years trying to find a job that was remotely related to my degree.

By the time I landed in that type of job, it had been seven years, anything I learned had become obsolete and was forgotten anyway, and apparently the degree program itself became obsolete and has since been eliminated.

But that's okay. In the last two months at my new job, I have learned and done more with digital media than I ever did in college and in the years since. What's more, I'm actually getting paid to do it.

So thank you, CSUS. If for nothing else, you at least gave me a piece of paper that looks nice in a frame on my wall and makes me feel like a big shot.

I Caught My Wife Sleeping With My Best Friend....

...and I actually thought it was pretty cute. Unfortunately, the good cameras all had dead batteries.

Priorities

So I'm sitting in the hospital with Syd as she gets her weekly infusion treatment. Every week we bring her to Kaiser, they poke an IV into her arm, then have her sit still for 5-6 hours (well, she can walk around so long as it doesn't interfere with the IV tube). For any sort of adult that I know, this would be a major inconvenience. But we're 8 weeks in now and the only fussing I've heard about anything is really just the part where they stick the needle in her arm. After that, it's smooth sailing....so long as we've got a comfy chair, the Beanie Baby leopard family, and Mamma Mia playing 6 inches from her face.

Sydney is my hero :)

Let the Negativity Commence

In recent years I've found that when I am given a forum to write freely, often times I take the opportunity to rant about negative things that I find preposterous, irritating, or that incite rage. It makes me seem like an angry person. I'm really not, but I'm okay with that perception so long as it's left on the blogs and you stay away from awkward confrontations about it. Let's keep the writing and the 'in person' guys separate, if you don't mind. Don't believe me? Look --> :D Happy!

With that said, here's my brief list of "wish I said it" answers to various karaoke questions I've been asked:

1. No, I will not sing Love Shack with you.
2. I've never heard a hyena rape a howler monkey, but I imagine the sound is pretty comparable to your rendition of that Journey song.
3. Don't touch me.
4. Yes, you can buy me a drink if you promise to go away immediately after that.
5. I'm ignoring you because I don't like you, you haven't tipped me, you are a douchebag, and you smell.
6. The microphone settings were fine. Maybe look into fixing your voice.
7. If you're leaving and your song hasn't come up yet, you better put some cash in that tip jar or else you're s.o.l.
7a. And honestly, your "friends" don't want to hear you "sing" anything. You are your only fan.
8. I swear to Christ, don't effing touch me.

The End is Nigh

Good....lord. It has been a helluva day at the office. The work hasn't been so bad, but the background noise that is CNN has got me ready to start petitioning congress to give rational and logical citizens the ability to freely eradicate stupid people as they see fit.

Samples of the news today:
1. If Wolf Blitzer continues to say "swiiiiiine flu", I will reach through the TV to punch him in the face.

2. Schools are providing "hand washing clinics" to show how to wash hands properly. Christ...if we have enough people older than two years old not knowing how to wash their hands to warrant clinics, we've got much bigger problems than Swiiiiiiine Flu.

3. A European plane destined for DC was diverted to Boston when a passenger mentioned she was feeling "flu-like". First of all, there are at least 50 people on every flight that feel sick. Second, the plane would've needed to be airborne for 10 more minutes if it wanted to get to the final destination - DC. After 4+ hours in the air, you've already got whatever illness you're gonna get. Might as well finish the trip.

4. Schools are closing. Tragedy. What's driving this story? Some mother is upset her kid is missing his first date and there are others missing their proms. Bummer. I really can't feel bad for these people, as these are experiences that will no doubt made up at a later time. And no worries, Mom of the dateless dude. He'll be bangin' skanks and picking up STD's soon enough.

5. The RUNNER UP in the Miss USA pageant has somehow become the unofficial spokesperson for the anti-gay marriage side. Glorified loser/celebrity stalker Perez Hilton stirred up this mess by being the spokesperson for the pro gay side. Is this where we are? These two have a cumulative IQ of 73 and yet these are the voices for this issue.

6. Why does CNN have Twitter. Why are news channels allowing douchebags with computers to drive the news with their web cam rants, wall posts, and Tweets? Steve from Assholia writes, "Hey CNN, Obama is a douche and swine flu is delicious." Thanks for the insight, Steve. If you'd like to leave a valid argument such as Steve's, visit us at our 1,000 different social networking pages.

Alright, enough blogging for today. Lightning, out.