In recent years I've found that when I am given a forum to write freely, often times I take the opportunity to rant about negative things that I find preposterous, irritating, or that incite rage. It makes me seem like an angry person. I'm really not, but I'm okay with that perception so long as it's left on the blogs and you stay away from awkward confrontations about it. Let's keep the writing and the 'in person' guys separate, if you don't mind. Don't believe me? Look --> :D Happy!
With that said, here's my brief list of "wish I said it" answers to various karaoke questions I've been asked:
1. No, I will not sing Love Shack with you.
2. I've never heard a hyena rape a howler monkey, but I imagine the sound is pretty comparable to your rendition of that Journey song.
3. Don't touch me.
4. Yes, you can buy me a drink if you promise to go away immediately after that.
5. I'm ignoring you because I don't like you, you haven't tipped me, you are a douchebag, and you smell.
6. The microphone settings were fine. Maybe look into fixing your voice.
7. If you're leaving and your song hasn't come up yet, you better put some cash in that tip jar or else you're s.o.l.
7a. And honestly, your "friends" don't want to hear you "sing" anything. You are your only fan.
8. I swear to Christ, don't effing touch me.
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ReplyDelete9. I'm sorry you're so drunk but no, I can't sleep with you on my Karaoke table. Thank you for asking.