Got Definition?

Greetings blog readers (Kenny). Ran across an article that sparked some curiosity this morning and, since California isn't currently burning to the ground, I thought I'd take a few minutes to discuss semantics.

There are words being thrown about in today's society that have completely lost their intended meaning, and this needs to be corrected quickly. At the very least it needs to be recognized so as to avoid having a population running around proclaiming that a quarterback coming back into a game after having broken his leg is "heroic". No. The word for that is "idiot".

Anyhoo, I've got two notable examples. The first came to me in the form of a headline this morning that read, "Kevin Federline Shocks Fans Over New Size".

I have a couple problems with this. First, this headline about K Fed's recent weight gain was front and center on Yahoo News. It's not like I went digging around TMZ or OMG or WTF. This was on a "news" site. Ugh! But that's a subject for another time.

The word "fan" is what bothers me here. Who was the last Kevin Federline "fan" that you met? Oh, you haven't met one? Is this likely due to the fact that there couldn't possibly be any Kevin Federline fans on this planet?

The word "fan" is short for "fanatic", which is defined as "a person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal." Does anyone feel this way towards K Fed? If you know of anyone, please punch them in the face immediately.

In this world of celebrity or faux celebrity "news", it is being implied that these A-D listers all have fans. In reality (we'll get to reality next), the people reading the stories and watching the 2000 different Access Hollywood BS shows are not fans of the "celebrities". They're fans of gossip and trash television. There's a big difference.

It's just upsetting to see people being intentionally misled into believing that there are folks out there that are actually obsessed with K Fed, and those dbags from The Hills, and other non-celebrities (and actual celebrities) that are constantly being pushed in our face. I assure you there are not.

My final objection is to the rampant use of the word "reality". Defined as "the state or quality of being real; resemblance to what is real", this word has gotten way out of hand.

I have never been put up in a huge mansion while 30 hot chicks battle for my love and to boost their acting careers. I have never been dropped in the middle of the wilderness with 20+ people and forced to live off rats and whatever else I could scrounge up, and every now and then break up the monotony by walking on a balance beam in the middle of a swamp. I don't think I've done anything that is deemed "reality" by just about all the programming on the Fox network. There's even a channel devoted to 24/7 "reality" programming.

And I'm not alone. I would venture to guess that 99.9% of the population has never encountered anything even remotely close to what these shows are depicting. Why? Because it's not reality. You want reality? Let's see a show about a guy that gets up in the morning, goes to a job that he isn't all that passionate about, sits in a cubicle all day, shuffles paperwork around, goes to a couple meetings, almost falls asleep at his desk a few times, makes a couple inappropriate jokes/emails to help the day go by, then drives home in a crappy car, stopping by the Taco Bell drive thru on the way home and having to dig for spare change in the cup holder to pay for his tostada.

Hell, let's not even make it that complicated. Let's have a show about a person that has to pay A bill. Not billS. Just A bill. One. It's up to them to go out and find the means to make an income that can cover that bill while also keeping themselves alive, though not necessarily healthy. That would take a better job.

But that's real. I don't have a word for all that other crap. Surreal? Fantasy? Rigawddamndiculous? Pick whatever word(s) you like, just don't pick "reality". I'm just not a fan.

Peace out.